Shopping List

I filled out a rental application for the beautiful big girl apartment I really want today.

I am 99% sure I will get it. 

I am EXCITED!!

So I'm making a shopping list for things I will need/want for the new place:

• 2 Large Rubbermaid containers for the basement, which is apparently kind of damp
  
• wet jet solution for hardwood floors
• laundry detergent for efficient washing machines, which my generous mother is getting me!
• window treatments
• welcome mat
• shower mat
• kitchen trash can
• sweater storage
• winter coat storage (maybe a stand alone closet for the basement?)

I'M SO EXCITED!

Design

Last night's dream had my subconscious turn me into a research designer, librarian, manager of a cubicle farm, writer for Gossip Girl, set designer, prom committee chair, lesbian, summer camp director, creator of new species of strawberries that grow underwater (gross!), and book cover designer.

The book cover was so vivid that I feel like I should produce it for some future author that wants to write a book called 'Petites.'  It would be an exposé of the lives of teenage socialites. (Why one would want to write this book I'm not sure. Isn't that why we have Us Weekly and the like?)

It's a simple cover. Black background. Vertical stripes - very thin, bright rainbow colors. The title and author info are printed in the middle. (A block of the stripes is cut out.) The text is white, very delicate, and in something like Futura font. But thinner. Lighter. Delicate-er. There is significant space between the letters, and they are all in caps - the title anyway. I don't remember the (fictional) author's name.

So there you have it. Someone with design programs could probably pop that out easily. And I would be attracted to that cover. So. I might buy that book. Because, let's face it. I judge books (partially) based on their covers.

Easter!

Easter is coming!

So some friends of mine have made their top ten Easter traditions posts. 

Easter was never a HUGE deal with my family growing up - we didn't do Easter baskets or find eggs on Easter morning, but I'll see what I can do to knock out my own list (in no particular order).

1. Starburst jellybeans. So delicious. So juicy.
2. White straw (i think) hats. We had a couple of Easter hats when I was little. I remember one Easter when I got to wear my favorite dress (a white one with smocking my mom made me) and one of the hats. I was very excited. There's a slide (as in sit around the projector and look at slides together) of the three of us in hats and our pretty dresses.  This was during my super-girly phase. There might even have been gloves.
3. Choir specials. The church I grew up in and the one I spent most of college going to had pretty darn good choirs.  My senior year in college, in particular, the choir music was SO AMAZING. It lifted me right out of my seat. I love a good choir special.
4. The beginning of Spring. I appreciate the timing of Easter so much more now that I live in New England and cannot see the ground for the 4 months leading up to Easter.  I love the color green, that it represents life, and that it reappears at Easter time. 
5. Coloring eggs. For many of my elementary school years, we would go to Knoxville to visit Grandma and Grandpa for Easter.  We would color eggs, hide them in the den, find them, and then repeat the process over and over.  After a while, we got my aunt and uncle to hide the eggs because we were using the same hiding places over and over and it was getting too easy. To this day, the smell of vinegar reminds me of coloring eggs.
6. Shevenell home group Easter day. My home group is the core of my New Hampshire family. My first Easter in grad school, they invited me to join the four of them for Easter dinner. It felt so much like home - nerd parents and two little sisters, one more talkative than the other. The following years it has turned into a gigantic pot-luck, followed by desserts galore, quick nap/rest time, family walk, game time, and then home group meeting. We celebrate Easter ALL DAY LONG!
7. Oooh! Children's choir. My current church usually has a children's choir on Easter Sunday. All the adorable little kids in their Easter best, belting out songs about Jesus. SO CUTE. (Gina, please tell me Louisa will participate in a few years!)
8. Lent. This year I actually participated in Lent - to a degree. It was my first Lenten experience. I know that some people don't believe that we should mourn Christ's death when he is risen, and I can see the reasoning behind that.  So my Lent practices were not to make me suffer or mourn, but more to help me be aware of things that I know I should think about, but normally don't.  It's kind of an attention-getter for me. And I think it was good for me.  It's nice to have a special time to do the things you always mean to do, but somehow don't always get to.  Like saying 'I love you' on Valentine's Day. You always mean it, but sometimes forget to say it because the cares of life get in the way.
9. Cadbury eggs.  I am not a huge fan anymore, but this was the one way my mom would celebrate Easter (commercially) when we were little and WOW I enjoyed them then. So messy.  (Halloween is marked with candy corn and candy pumpkins, Christmas with red & green m&m's and Dove promises. Daddy gets us Whitman Sampler hearts for V Day.) 
10. Pastel m&m's. They DO have little bunnies printed on them. 

Candy sure does seem important for my celebration of major holidays. Also, I'm running out of ideas. Like I said, Easter wasn't a huge momentous thing for us growing up. Not like Christmas is. I'll do a top 20 list for Christmas. :)

things I have accomplished today:

1. Got up when the alarm went off (ish)
2. Started work at 9am
3. Sudoku
4. Crossword puzzle
5. Laundry
6. Meeting
7. Gym
8. Put 3 articles into my chapter (!!!)
9. Ate some leftovers

And I hate to leave it at 9 things, but that's all I've got. 

And it's only 7:17!!

Enterprise

There is a city in southeastern Alabama named Enterprise. Back in the day, the economic/agricultural livelihood of the city was from cotton, like a good bit of Alabama. Then one year the Boll Weevil came to town. And ate all the cotton.

In response to this devastation, the people of Enterprise decided to switch their main crop over to peanuts. And everyone lived happily ever after. 

Especially the boll weevil, who got a statue made in his honor. 

See?

I went to school at Auburn University. At Auburn, Homecoming is a BIG DEAL. Pretty much everything to do with football is.

The ladies that want to be homecoming queen go through (what I consider to be) a trying ordeal.  They spend the week leading up to the vote walking around in a dress suit, surrounded by a posse (who are all also wearing suits), soliciting votes.  They design cards to win votes, and these are actually highly sought after because they have coupons to local restaurants on the back. They also make a giant version of the cards and prop them up in trucks and park them downtown all week (apparently the ticket ladies respect this sacred tradition).  All this craziness and I never cared.

Until...

2002 when Amy Beth Hulsey (Biomedical Sciences major)* ran. She was from Enterprise. Her card was pink. I don't particularly care for the shade of pink she used. So I was even less likely to vote for her.  But then I read her slogan. 

"Vote for Amy Beth! She's Unbollweevable!!"

I was sold. I think that was the only time I voted for Homecoming Queen. 

She won, of course.

---------------------------

*I think this is the right one. I couldn't find a chronological listing to triple check.

Also, this post is dedicated to Gina Henker. 

Purge

I am planning on moving in about 2 months. 

I don't have a place lined up, because apparently that's not how they do things up here. You look, you sign a lease, and move in all in one week. Or something like that.

I'm really looking forward to this move. Really.

I can't wait to make a cozy home for myself. Just for me! No compromises, no awkward dance over how to load the dishwasher, no putting up with someone else's art or taste in music.

I am also really excited to purge my belongings of the things that I don't need or even really want. And to organize the things I want to or should keep. 

Really excited. 

I'm somewhat of a pack-rat/magpie.  I keep things around for a while, and I tend to compulsively buy 'shiny' things. But lately I have been thinking about simplicity. I have been craving simplicity. 

I want simplicity because I want to have a comfortable home with a place for everything, and everything in its place. And since I want a one bedroom apartment, and I'm a graduate student, that place will be small. I want to have what I need and no more. 

I want to HAVE simplicity - to carry it around with me - because I want to have the freedom to say no when I face the temptation to buy the newest cleaning phenomenon, that same shirt in 5 different colors, another purse, or the trinkets that somehow make it into my shopping cart.  

I want to be free from my possessions. I want order.

Thus, the purge. Eliminate what I don't need. Organize what I do.

Because really, it comes down to trust. Do I trust that God will provide for what I need? Or do I think that I need to get it all for myself? Instead of holding onto things and grabbing for whatever catches my eye, I should be clinging to God and reaching out for His riches.  When I do that, I get the best of both worlds - spiritual glory and earthly necessities.

Goals check-in

What-ho!

Given that it is half way through March, I thought this would be as good a time as any to check in on my February goals...

They were:

Finish Harry Potter #5
Project365 & BibleYear
Try 3 new recipes
Run at least 12 times
Don't buy any CD's, mp3's, DVD's or books

I have now completed all of the Harry Potters, so that goal = check.

I have continued with my two every-day-for-a-year goals, so check.

I lose track of which recipes I tried when, but I have definitely been cooking for myself more than I did in 2008. I'm going to call this one a check.

I got a cold and got lazy so I have NOT been exercising much. So that goal = blarg

I didn't buy any new media! Not even since March started! so that one = check.

I didn't make any new goals for March. I was lost in other things at the time, I guess.

I did, however, make some commitments for Lent this year.  I grew up in a Southern Baptist church. I don't know if all SB churches do it this way, but ours never mentioned Lent. So my exposure to that part of the church calendar has been relatively recent.

For some reason, I felt compelled to observe Lent somehow this year, and I was thinking about what that should look like for me when my pastor gave a sermon on the historical reasons and components of Lent.

According to my pastor, Lent should include three things: 

• Almsgiving (giving to poor)
• Prayer
• Fasting
  

So with that guide, and the ideas and themes that I had been musing over, I plotted out a roadmap for my observation of Lent.  Also according to my pastor, Lent is to be between each person and God. So while I have told a close friend or two about my commitments to hold me accountable, I haven't broadcast my goals, and I don't want to here either. But I do want to say that I have been contemplating simplicity in a materialistic society this year.  If you have any insights on living so that your camel could make it through the needle's eye here and now, I would love to hear them!

Comment away!

WWJD

This past weekend I watched Lars and The Real Girl, which I had been curious about since I saw a trailer for it about a year ago. 

The punch line of the story is that Lars treats a life-size, realistic, sex doll like a real person and his girlfriend.  Her name is Bianca.  The family doctor, who has training in psychiatry, advises Lars's (Lars' ?) brother and sister-in-law to play along. They agree, the brother reluctantly, and visit his church to make the priest and leadership aware of the situation and ask for their help.  The leadership, made up of several old people, have a problem with a sex doll and begin to refuse.  One spunky lady tries to convince them that it's no different from pretending that one guy's wife wasn't a kleptomaniac etc. and then the priest, wisely speaks up and asks "What would Jesus do?"

Lars and Bianca (the sex doll) are in church on Sunday. 

The rest of the movie is about the whole town playing along with Lars as he works out his issues with being an active member of a community and family. 

The whole thing could have easily been a farce, a harsh, unkind treatment of people with delusions.  Instead, we see a family, a church, a community, a person come together with compassion.  Each person faces some of their own struggles when confronted with Lars and Bianca, and each person manages to come out on the other side a better version of themselves. 

I highly recommend it.

frankie

I want a dog. 

I want a dog so badly that when I see one out and about, I begin the high-pitch-talking and the drooling one usually associates with my desire to have a baby.  I think I will name it Frankie.

My roommate of 3 years, Bethany, has had Ava for about as long as we have lived together, and she will be leaving me, and taking the dog with her, at some point this summer.  I will be sad.  Ava and I cuddle and play together. She greats me with much enthusiasm and gives me doggy kisses. 

And then we watched a bit of the Westminster Dog Show. Oh the dogs! Oh the Purina adopt-a-dog commercials!

So, I have been looking at dog breeds online lately when I should be working.  There are so many things to consider! How much money am I willing/able to pay? How much time am I willing to spend grooming, exercising, cleaning up after and training the dog? Where will I live - will I need a dog tolerant of cold AND heat? Will I have a yard that I can let the dog run around in, or will I need to take it on long walks every day?

All these questions, and the only answer I have figured out for sure is that I want a small dog. I do NOT want a purse dog - let's be clear, but I do want a dog small enough for me to pick up when necessary, and not large enough to knock anyone over.  Ava is pretty much the perfect size for that. She also does not shed much. Major bonus.

So. Dozens (if not hundreds) of dog breeds out there. Any suggestions, dog lovers?

in my dreams

I am on medication that makes me have crazy, detailed, vivid dreams.  Sometimes they are disturbing - like when I had my little sister with me on my honeymoon - other times they are just crazy - like when I worked at Best Buy and a guy had a heart attack, so I went to taco bell to get his wife a custom taco. Over the past month I have had more and more dreams that involve a certain male. They would make a great preteen romance story. Lots of significant looks and comments that need to be analyzed and discussed with one's friends. 

But last night, something happened in dream world that pushed us over the edge from significant looks and possibly-meaningful comments to an actual acknowledgement of feelings and the beginning of a relationship. It was rather sweet. He seemed surprised by the possibility of me - like he had never considered it but thought it was the most wonderful idea ever. (Is that a good thing or not?) I wrote him a letter that made him happy. He chose seats next to me, sat very close, and put his arm around me. I changed my facebook status to say we were in a relationship, worried that it was too soon, but he loved it. 

And then I woke up.

At least I made it through Valentine's Day sans self-pity and depression.

dying to self

Some people are easy to love. 

Some people are hard to love. 

I'm not talking about romantic love here - I'm talking about the love that will listen to the happy stories, the funny stories, the sad stories, and the painful stories equally willingly.  I'm talking about the love that values you as a human. Period. I'm talking about the love that will spend 3 hours to take you to and from the doctor's office. I'm talking about the love that passes over quirks and flaws to see the personality beneath. 

There are some people whose quirks are so prominent that they can fill your vision, if you let them, so that it is impossible to see and love the human beneath.  There are some people who seem so needy that it tires me to even think about helping them, loving them.  I would rather stick to loving and helping the people in my immediate circle of friends - people I already know and love.  But this is not how The Body is to work.  This is not how The Body is supposed to behave.  This is not how The Body is supposed to relate to each other. 

Scripture teaches us that we are to love sacrificially, as Jesus did.  I can tell myself this over and over, as I have done. I can preach to myself, I can reason with myself, I can make myself feel guilty for not doing things, but this will not be enough.  It is only through the transformation of my heart that I can love like this.  And it is only through divine intervention that my heart will be transformed. 

So the question is, am I brave enough to ask for it?

Cooking

I have tried my first new recipe for this month: Chicken with Roasted Sweet Potatoes.

It was very tasty! The combination of sweet potato, red onion, spinach, and lime juice was very interesting, and (a little unexpectedly) quite good! 

I made the following adjustments/observations:

• I had to nuke the sweet potatoes after peeling them so that I could slice them, and I think that cut down on the roasting time a bit 
• I didn't need to use an entire bag of spinach (which said it was 4 cups)
• I don't think it reheats well. 

But you know, when Real Simple says that something is an easy dinner, they're right!

February goals

• Finish Harry Potter #5
• Project365 & BibleYear
• Try 3 new recipes
• Run at least 12 times
• Don't buy any CD's, mp3's, DVD's or books

January Goals Check-in

To review, my 6 goals were: 

Write draft of motivation section of proposal
Buy NO more clothes
Continue with Project365
Continue with BibleYear
Try 3 new recipes (first one tonight, have ingredients for second)
Go to the gym at least 9 times (3x a week for remaining 3 weeks)

I am proud to report that I have met 5 out of 6!

Guess which one I didn't meet...

I did read several articles on motivation this month, meeting all of the weekly goals that I set, but I couldn't manage to sit down and write the draft.  But I did meet with my advisor yesterday, and she gave me a two week goal of doing an annotated bibliography/outline for that section. I can do that. 

I think my favorite goal was the food-related one.  I did try 3 new recipes (Tuscan Turkey & Beans, Southwestern Bean Medley served over rice, and Orecchiette with Roasted Broccoli and Walnuts). They were all very tasty.  I would recommend doing the Bean Medley for when you won't have many leftovers.  It's good, but if you eat it every day for a week, it gets old. And I would recommend steaming the broccoli half way before roasting it - the stalks started to turn black. 

I'm most proud of the working out goal.  I am going to go for the 9th time in just a few minutes, and I feel better about working out than any other get-fit-season in my life. By the end of the year, I hope that running will come naturally to me, and I won't have to make it a goal to meet.

thoughts on being robbed at planet fitness

All in all, I'm a fairly trusting person.  It is automatic for me to lock the car when I get out, but other than that, if I need to leave a door unlocked so that someone can get something out of our house, or pick up the dog, I'm ok with that.  I figure, who's going to steal from two graduate students? Really, you want our collection of games? Or our cheap dvd player/big box television? Really? You would break the law for that? If you're going to rob my house, breaking one of the many ground level windows would do the job.  Locking the door probably won't help much.

With lockers at the gym, I usually keep pants and/or a jacket, and my cheap-o bag.  The locker room is fairly busy, there are lots of lockers used without locks, and I've never heard of complaints before...So I usually stash my stuff, close the door and leave, trusting that no one will open a locker that isn't theirs, or that the other women in the room will notice someone rummaging through my things and say something.

And statistically speaking, what are the chances that MY home/locker would be picked out of all the ones in this town/locker room? 

But today, my locker was defiled. Someone opened my locker, moved aside my pants, rummaged through my bag, found my wallet, took the cash, and then put things back.  I didn't discover it till I had gotten home, and the gym has a no liability policy, so there is no hope of getting the money back.

And it was my fun money for the next month or so. It's not like I was going to use it to pay bills or buy groceries. Maybe to see a movie or get some Taco Bell...but nothing vital. So I haven't lost anything of major importance.

Except my rosy view of my fellow woman. My naivety.  My belief that I am too unimportant to steal from. And that's the part that upsets me the most.