automatic pilot

When I'm in distress, whether it be stress or confusion or unhappiness, sometimes I find it hard to function. I get so wrapped up in my thoughts, in my continuous replay of what happened that I can't focus on anything else. The necessities of life go to automatic pilot.

Other times, I simply can't think. I can't identify individual thoughts in my head. The path is too twisted, too complicated, to intertwined between my life and others'.

Sometimes I choose not to think because the thoughts would be too distressing - I go into denial, in a way.

Today feels like a mix of the second two. I feel like I need to think - to sort things through - but I can't pin down exactly what to focus on. I'm not even sure I want to think about it. I have too much real stuff to think about anyway.

Yeah, relationships - and their ending - are messy.
Even more so when they involve a friend.
And the inability (both literal and figural) to remove yourself from the mess.