frankie

I want a dog. 

I want a dog so badly that when I see one out and about, I begin the high-pitch-talking and the drooling one usually associates with my desire to have a baby.  I think I will name it Frankie.

My roommate of 3 years, Bethany, has had Ava for about as long as we have lived together, and she will be leaving me, and taking the dog with her, at some point this summer.  I will be sad.  Ava and I cuddle and play together. She greats me with much enthusiasm and gives me doggy kisses. 

And then we watched a bit of the Westminster Dog Show. Oh the dogs! Oh the Purina adopt-a-dog commercials!

So, I have been looking at dog breeds online lately when I should be working.  There are so many things to consider! How much money am I willing/able to pay? How much time am I willing to spend grooming, exercising, cleaning up after and training the dog? Where will I live - will I need a dog tolerant of cold AND heat? Will I have a yard that I can let the dog run around in, or will I need to take it on long walks every day?

All these questions, and the only answer I have figured out for sure is that I want a small dog. I do NOT want a purse dog - let's be clear, but I do want a dog small enough for me to pick up when necessary, and not large enough to knock anyone over.  Ava is pretty much the perfect size for that. She also does not shed much. Major bonus.

So. Dozens (if not hundreds) of dog breeds out there. Any suggestions, dog lovers?

in my dreams

I am on medication that makes me have crazy, detailed, vivid dreams.  Sometimes they are disturbing - like when I had my little sister with me on my honeymoon - other times they are just crazy - like when I worked at Best Buy and a guy had a heart attack, so I went to taco bell to get his wife a custom taco. Over the past month I have had more and more dreams that involve a certain male. They would make a great preteen romance story. Lots of significant looks and comments that need to be analyzed and discussed with one's friends. 

But last night, something happened in dream world that pushed us over the edge from significant looks and possibly-meaningful comments to an actual acknowledgement of feelings and the beginning of a relationship. It was rather sweet. He seemed surprised by the possibility of me - like he had never considered it but thought it was the most wonderful idea ever. (Is that a good thing or not?) I wrote him a letter that made him happy. He chose seats next to me, sat very close, and put his arm around me. I changed my facebook status to say we were in a relationship, worried that it was too soon, but he loved it. 

And then I woke up.

At least I made it through Valentine's Day sans self-pity and depression.

dying to self

Some people are easy to love. 

Some people are hard to love. 

I'm not talking about romantic love here - I'm talking about the love that will listen to the happy stories, the funny stories, the sad stories, and the painful stories equally willingly.  I'm talking about the love that values you as a human. Period. I'm talking about the love that will spend 3 hours to take you to and from the doctor's office. I'm talking about the love that passes over quirks and flaws to see the personality beneath. 

There are some people whose quirks are so prominent that they can fill your vision, if you let them, so that it is impossible to see and love the human beneath.  There are some people who seem so needy that it tires me to even think about helping them, loving them.  I would rather stick to loving and helping the people in my immediate circle of friends - people I already know and love.  But this is not how The Body is to work.  This is not how The Body is supposed to behave.  This is not how The Body is supposed to relate to each other. 

Scripture teaches us that we are to love sacrificially, as Jesus did.  I can tell myself this over and over, as I have done. I can preach to myself, I can reason with myself, I can make myself feel guilty for not doing things, but this will not be enough.  It is only through the transformation of my heart that I can love like this.  And it is only through divine intervention that my heart will be transformed. 

So the question is, am I brave enough to ask for it?

Cooking

I have tried my first new recipe for this month: Chicken with Roasted Sweet Potatoes.

It was very tasty! The combination of sweet potato, red onion, spinach, and lime juice was very interesting, and (a little unexpectedly) quite good! 

I made the following adjustments/observations:

• I had to nuke the sweet potatoes after peeling them so that I could slice them, and I think that cut down on the roasting time a bit 
• I didn't need to use an entire bag of spinach (which said it was 4 cups)
• I don't think it reheats well. 

But you know, when Real Simple says that something is an easy dinner, they're right!

February goals

• Finish Harry Potter #5
• Project365 & BibleYear
• Try 3 new recipes
• Run at least 12 times
• Don't buy any CD's, mp3's, DVD's or books