Time with friends?
Time online?
Time @church?
sleep?
tv/movies?
So far, the answer has been: nothing. I do not want the Ph.D. enough to sacrifice these other things.
So why am I here? I do like to teach. I feel comfortable when I teach. I slip into it so easily. I lose track of time and m problems. I feel like it is one of those things I was made to do.
But I am not made to do the Ph.D.. I am able to do it, technically. I have the intelligence, skills and resources to get it done. Just not the desire or willpower. And not having it done and not wanting to work on it rather makes me miserable.
I didn't count the cost very well before coming here, but do I regret it?
My experiences here have formed me into the person I am now. And I like that person - the vast majority of the time. I'm not perfect, but I am comfortable & happy with who I've become. and the potential for who I have become.
I have made the best friends of my life here. Not some of. THE. BEST. And I don't think I would have met them otherwise.
I have also gotten teaching experience & support. I am not sure I can do justice to the sigh of relief I felt when I started teaching. All through high school and college I had this niggling thought that I was meant for something & I hadn't found it yet. I had no idea where to go next, what to aim for. And my college advisor helped me uncover my love of teaching and sent me to someone else who helped me aim for UNH & a career teaching college. Once I started, I felt way more fulfilled in who I am.
So no, I don't regret the major steps that have brought me here.
